I am loving the site! So, I have been with "Norm" for 6 years. I'm in my mid-30's and I'm starting to hear the biological clock tick. Norm doesn't show any signs of moving closer to marriage. I really, really love him, but I want to get married and start a family! I'm not so sure that he does. He kind of gives a vague answer. What should I do?
When Harry Met Sally moment... you know... when she's crying on the bed because she found out her ex is getting married. CLASSIC line: "It's not that he didn't want to get married. It's that he didn't want to marry MEEEEEEEE."
I know the other girls are saying discussion/honesty... and they are right... but from where I sit, if he felt about you the way you feel about him, you'ld have the ring already. Guys aren't dumb. What they are is avoiders of conflict. He's content enough: he's getting laid... and it's easier to stay with you than to leave. So, be prepared on this one.
What is it you can really live with? Marriage is just a piece of paper. It's a tracking system for the government. Oh... but the promise and the party and the dress?!!! Do you just want to be married, or do you actually want someone to stand in front of the world and say "I pick you above all others?" That's the big deal... not the paper, right?
Next, if you want kids (which is absolutely beyond my understanding)... then, and ONLY THEN, can the phrase "my biological clock is ticking" come out. I HATE THAT PHRASE by the way, but there are realistic time limits placed on parenthood. (Seriously though, get a pound puppy first and see if you can train and tolerate that first... kids are tougher and you can't LEGALLY give them back if it doesn't work out).
I'm hearing what Austin is saying... Maybe a little dose of couple's counseling is in order? I know way more than one person who has gotten married to have a dress, a ring, a party... But what you will find out, is that after the party is over, your relationship is essentially exactly the same BUT for the fact that it now takes a whole lotta legal hassle to end it. However, if you've been living together for some time, it is already kind of a hassle.
If you absolutely cannot envision your life without a baby, keep in mind: Having a guy's baby will not make him love you more, it will only make you love him more.
Good luck! Send us an update!