Sixteen Hundred Dollars for a Good Time
Monday, June 4, 2012 at 3:27PM I was doing a google search for Babeland, the best online sex toy shop, and a pop-up alerts me that the JIMMYJANE collection of vibrators is 20% off. I love both a sale and a good time, so I clicked. On the next page, a series of rainbow wands, like fat pens, caught my eye. Then I saw the price: $1,650 dollars for a vibrator, now on sale for $1,320. The Jimmy Jane Ultimate Members Set of Six to be specific. Whoa, I thought, that would have to be one hell of a good time. What could make a vibrator cost more than a thousand dollars? Babeland’s product description tell us:
Become a collector of artistic pleasure objects with the Jimmyjane Ultimate Members Set of 6, a limited edition of six gorgeously etched and brightly colored vibrators. Artist Jamie Hewlett's saucy boys and girls of the decadent London nightclub scene are immortalized on a set of whisper-quiet vibrators, each with a replaceable motor to ensure long-term usage. This pleasurable pop art comes in a boxed collector's set, sequentially numbered as part of the limited run. Three-year limited warranty with Jimmyjane.
Naturally, I tell Mr. Sometimes about this vibrator.
June:
It’s 1,650 dollars regularly, but it on sale, and really six vibrators.
Mr. Sometimes:
What makes it special? Or rather, them.
June:
They are engraved. By an artist. With pictures from the London nightclub scene.
Mr. Sometimes:
That’s great if you are into the London nightclub scene. And they would be considered artwork.
June:
You would display them?
Mr. Sometimes:
Of course. Why wouldn’t we?
June:
We don’t display the ones we have now. But these do come in rainbow of colors.
Mr, Sometimes:
Even better.
June:
How much pleasure would they need to provide to make up for the price?
Mr. Sometimes:
I’d say about sixteen times if like a regular vibrator is one hundred bucks.
June:
I think more like fifty.
Mr. Sometimes:
Then thirty-two times the pleasure.
June:
That’s one hell of an orgasm.
Mr. Sometimes:
Multiple, probably. You’re going to post this aren’t you?
June:
Yup. Does this mean I can buy the set?
Mr. Sometimes:
Nope. No, it does not.
~ June
Female Underground
I am suddenly reminded of an old joke:
Woman at a bar in Las Vegas turns to the man sitting next to her and says, " For $500, I'll do anything you can name in 3 words... as long as it takes." Man ponders for a moment, smiles, and responds, "I'll take you up up on that offer beautiful lady. PAINT MY HOUSE."
Seriously, for $1600... this damn product better do my laundry and cook for me, because THAT would bring me TRUE year long pleasure!
I mean, come on, I thought I was out of control when I jumped from my $9.95, AA battery, no it doesn't look like anything erotic, replace it every 6 months because you've killed the motor, "just get me off in 10 minutes or less" vibe to the Lelo for somewhere around $200. (For those who don't know this product... the girl at the local adult store recommended it to me because it was pretty and smooth... and I kind of dug the "it doesn't have to look like a penis to work" design)
Granted , I like the Lelo, and it's DEFINITELY more fun to use with The Old Man (or perhaps Talented Old Man... the boyfriend won't let me use his real name here, so from now on, we shall call him TOM), but come on... I really just want to have an orgasm. Though, in all fairness, the Lelo IS very quiet and cleans up easily... which the female in me really appreciates.
Anyway... I don't DISPLAY my toys for the world. I'm not THAT evolved yet. I keep them in a drawer in the night stand next to the bed, under some other things in case my mother or some house guest goes rummaging (don't ask, I can't explain)... so for $1600... I'm thinking I'd rather go to Hawaii.
Sorry.
~ Austin.
Female Underground
I have never rummaged through your drawers! Mainly because I'm too scared to!
But um yeah. $1,600 is a lot of dough.
--S.