WTF Wednesday: Part 5

Sooooo... About a week ago, I was asked by Mr. Skyler Right Now, "So what's your 'type' anyway?" ((We've discussed this here previously, 'member?))  Before I can answer he says, "I guess I must be somewhat your type." I reply with, "Oh you mean confusing, needlessly conflicted, and kind of emotionally retarded?"  GET THIS... Are you ready?  He says, "Yeah, that basically sums me up.  It's destiny, my dear."  

I repeat and all together now: WHAT THE FUCK?!     

Getting Wetter than Wet: The Technique and Joys of Female Ejaculation

Female ejaculation.  Girl squirting.  Wet climax.  G-Spot orgasm. None of the terms for this give any hint to exactly how awesome this type of orgasm can be for a woman to experience.  Many women mistake the experience for peeing on their partner.  Even among the ladies here at the Female Underground disagree on this experience.  Skylar emailed me a single word, “Ewwwww.”  If that even is a word!

While Mr. Sometimes, as you may already know, walks on the tame side of the street.  Yet things between us turn distinctly interesting in the evening before bed.  Let’s just say that at bedtime, Mr. Sometimes wakes up.  One of the more interesting things I have learned since we started having sex was this capacity for female ejaculation. 

The basic mechanics of it are this—the man should stimulate both your g-spot (the rough, wrinkly spot inside your vagina on the top) and your clitoris at the same time.  Somehow, with Mr. Sometimes, this magic stimulation happens naturally—body-to-body contact.  As a woman who never had an orgasm without direct manual stimulation, this came (pun intended) as quite a surprise.

Ladies, I’d like to encourage you all today to open your minds and legs to this incredible experience. This liquid/lubrication comes from a different place from urine; so no, you aren’t peeing on him.  (Golden showers can be discussed in a later posting.) What are you going to do is experience a release that will make you both hungry for more.

But God forbid you mention it by name!  Because seriously, it needs a better name.  This is more than getting wet and "squirting" just sounds, well, gross.  I’d love to hear your name suggestions in the comment sections.

WTF Wednesday: Part 4

The Scene:  A downtown Irish Pub that a group of us used to frequent. When I say "frequent," I mean "FREQUENT." We were there at least twice a week, often more. I hadn't been there in at least a couple of years when I agree to meet a former co-worker there. He and I are sitting at the bar. I am turned facing him, my back to the door.

Man walking quickly past on his way to the back of the bar:  Hey Sky, haven't seen you in a while...

S:  Oh hey, Matty.

(He is a bartender at the pub and was just coming in to work... A few minutes later, he stops to chat.)

Matt:  You haven't been here in forever.

S: I know, I'm surprised you knew it was me, especially since I didn't see you come in.

Matt:  I was just getting here, but I'd know you from behind anywhere.

....And that's where what might have been a date ended abruptly.  

Married Sex = No Divorce or Bad Sex?

So I was doing a little Internet surfing today; the headline, How to Divorce-Proof Your Marriage popped up, and of course, I clicked on it.  Ann Bauer’s article, Have Sex With Your Spouse, highlighted something we probably all suspected but wouldn’t want to admit—having sex often helps your marriage last. I had to wonder though--is that true?  Should we be trying to have as much sex as possible with our spouse?  How much is enough?

Then I read an article by Emily, “THAT LADY WHO HAS SEX WITH HER HUSBAND EVERY DAY MAKES ME FEEL BAD.”  Basically, Emily laments how both American Idol and new parenthood have put the kibosh on her sexual life with her husband.   But another factor in Emily’s life seems to be her own experience with monogamous sex.  She writes:

“Good sex, to me, is something filthy and taboo that you do with a thrilling stranger. Relationship sex, at a certain point, becomes a simple act of maintenance, like scrubbing your shower curtain to prevent mold build-up. It doesn't get me high in the same way, but it's a fair trade-off for true intimacy, like how you get big boobs or perky ones but not usually both. That's just the way it is, I tell myself.”

So this puts a second question on the table—does married sex have to be vanilla sex?  Or shower curtain cleaning? Can you still fuck the same man every day and enjoy it?  Or do you just need to enjoy it in a different way?

I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.  I, for one, think you can, and I’m looking forward to giving it a try…as soon as Mr. Sometimes gets home from work.

Love & Hugs, June

WTF Wednesday: Part 3

Dude (totally out of the blue):  You're the oldest woman I've ever slept with.

S: Really? I'm like three or four years younger than you are.

Dude: Yeah, I know. Weird, huh?

S: It's only weird in that you felt you just had to mention that to me.

Dude: Oh. You're right. That was pretty stupid. (Pause.) Um, are you still going to stay over?

S: Only because I'm not allowed to drive after dark at my advanced age, asshole.